she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
