its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
