Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
