apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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