Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize