Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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