Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
