I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
