just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
