im holly from the hills drunk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
