we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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