I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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