I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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