just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
