Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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