Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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