Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
