Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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