I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
