Where did you get a picture of my penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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