Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
