Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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