So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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