did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
