And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize