mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
