i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
