you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
