i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
