I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
