"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
