OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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