I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
