Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found your dick twin last night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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