why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I party with great urgency now.
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