tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
