y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
