I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize