nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
