actually, I'm a sock model
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize