I'm so fucking centered right now
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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