he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
