do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You ruined the universe
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
