So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
