i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
