brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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