How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
