paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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