OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
