The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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