its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
