i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
