Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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