You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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