THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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