Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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