I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The air was thick with penises
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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