And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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