I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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