just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
