You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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